We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
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