I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
