He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
