im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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