And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
