He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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