I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
