In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Acid is not a monday night drug
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize
