butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
