Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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