yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
