she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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