This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
