Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
