How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
