She's JV to your varsity
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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