kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
