I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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