Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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