talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
