Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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