No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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