ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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