yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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