i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
