We're facebook friends in real life
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
