I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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