i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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