how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
