"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So many bounce houses so little time
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
