I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
