I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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