why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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