sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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