**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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