I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
