When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
