Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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