Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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