I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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