what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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