I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
