Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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