My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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