Where is the hickey?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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