and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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