with your own penis?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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