At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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