If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
