then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
