Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
