If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
