Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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