That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I need to calm my uterus...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
