hell yes lets make some ravioli
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
