I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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