East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We named our party play list daddy issues
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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