Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
