I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
