I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize