She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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