Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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