those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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